


If You Can't Say Anything Nice

by kisahawklin



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-18
Updated: 2010-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/255537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Zap.</i>
</p><p>That was an ominous sound. Rodney sprang out of the chair like he'd be been bitten and John thought, <i>yep, definitely not good.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Can't Say Anything Nice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lavvyan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavvyan/gifts).



> [](http://lavvyan.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**lavvyan**](http://lavvyan.dreamwidth.org/) gave me Rodney with writer's block and I came up with this.

_Zap._

That was an ominous sound. Rodney sprang out of the chair like he'd be been bitten and John thought, _yep, definitely not good._

Rodney opened his mouth and John squinted a little, preparing for the tirade he knew was coming, but Rodney was talking and no sound was coming out. His hands went up to his throat.

"What?" Rodney asked, and damn, that was impressive. He was even pink in the face – how did he do that? "I thought that –"

Rodney continued on for a second, then blinked rapidly, putting his hand to his throat again. "It feels like I'm speaking - Aha! I am speaking." His lips formed more words, but they didn't come out.

" _John_ ," Rodney whined. John stood up a little straighter - what the hell was going on?

Rodney was shaking his head and his eyes were huge, like he knew what was going on and it was bad.

"What is it?" John asked, finally able to voice a word or two himself. The whole watching Rodney's lips move with the sound flickering in and out like a bad radio station had paralyzed him for a second.

Rodney took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I think," he said, sounding hesitant, but opening his eyes when the words came out, "I think that I can't say anything..." he looked up at John with a horrified expression, "... _mean_."

It was John's turn to blink in incomprehension. How could that be possible? How did it work? Selective pressure on the vocal cords? "I don't understand," John said, and Rodney was off, his lips moving tirelessly with no sound coming out.

"Huh," John said, and grinned. Rodney rolled his eyes.

Rodney took a deep breath again and made a face of extreme concentration. "I understand you find this amusing, Colonel, but personally I find it –"

John could guess how Rodney found it – and he'd have to, because no words were coming out.

Rodney stopped, closed his eyes, and sighed heavily. "This could be problematic," Rodney said calmly, though John could hear the frustration being held tightly in check, "should I need to save the day and be able to give orders to my –" Rodney sighed again. "Co-workers. My co-workers."

John stifled a laugh. Rodney was right – it'd only be funny until they needed Rodney giving orders that were always peppered with insults and diatribes and general peevishness.

"Is it permanent?"

Rodney looked so stricken, John wished he hadn't brought it up. "What was that machine for?" he asked, trying to distract him.

"Well, I hadn't figured that out yet, had I?" Rodney said. "That's why I was sitting in it. And you!" He gestured up and down John with a wave of his hand. His mouth went for a little while and then, "– comes into a room and turns things on when people are sitting in them?"

John could fill in the missing parts of the conversation: _What kind of idiot comes into a room and..._ He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I didn't turn anything on, Rodney. Just came in to get you for lunch. Teyla wanted to talk about the next mission."

"You didn't turn anything on?" Rodney said, going to the console next to the chair he'd been in. It was dark, not glowing the way the ones in the gateroom did. "It's burnt out," Rodney said, whipping around to glare at John. "You came in here and your super-gene blew out the console to the chair I was sitting in!" Rodney looked vaguely suprised to have gotten the words out. "You're an –" He sputtered to a halt after a couple of unheard words. He looked positively forlorn.

"Come on," John said, nudging Rodney with his elbow. "Lunch. You and Radek can come down after and see what's going on. In the meantime you can practice creative insults on Teyla and Ronon."

**Author's Note:**

> And the lovely [](http://beachlass.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**beachlass**](http://beachlass.dreamwidth.org/) fixed that for me: [Anything at All](http://beachlass.dreamwidth.org/54957.html), John/Rodney, NC17.


End file.
